(p. 61) WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MOST MEMORABLE BOOKS YOU READ AS A CHILD?

I don't know that anything I read as a child was that great. I read Gone with the Wind in Bryson City two or three summers. When I saw the movie, I hated all the war stuff. The sequel Scarlett, by Alexandra Ripley, is better.
On my application to Vanderbilt, I wrote listed Peace with God, by Billy Graham, and The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran, as books that had influenced me. I remember Angel Unaware, the book by Dale Evans Rogers about their Down Syndrome baby, being the only book in our junior high school library that was on permanent reserve.
One book, that may be mentioned elsewhere, that turned out to influence me very much is The Listener, by Taylor Caldwell, that I read the summer of 1963.

I just finished a book called Circle of Grace, by Penelope Stokes. It's about a woman in her 50s who finds out she has terminal cancer. She has in many ways wasted her life up to that point ( she was the morality police among her friends in college, then abandoned her principles as an adult.) Now she sets out to live truthfully. I sure identified with some of her mistakes. Most of us can relate to the way we promote an image of who we want to be, instead of trusting those close to us to love us as we are..

(p. 62) WHAT WERE YOUR FAMILY FINANCES LIKE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP? HOW DID THAT AFFECT YOU?

We were comfortable, but thrift was taught as a value. When daddy was alive, mom once told us his salary (as a Colonel in 1953) was $1000 per month, a lot of money compared to her childhood. As I recall, the house on south Dinwiddie street in Arlington cost $7500 (in 1950). The new home on Radnor Place in Falls Church cost $12500 (in 1953). Because I remember these figures, either mom or me was interested in money. After Daddy died, it seemed important to mom to maintain a similar standard of living. I rebelled somewhat against her emphasis on image. She wanted me to wear clothes from Jordan Marsh and go to Duke, yet she also said on several occasions, “If I had all the money in the world, I wouldn’t buy you everything you want.” She was wanting me to learn the thrill of earning for myself. Later, I did appreciate my Community college nursing Associate degree more than my B. A. from Vanderbilt.

(p. 63) DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST COMMUNION? WHAT INFLUENCE DID IT HAVE ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY?

In the Presbyterian Church, we made a confession of faith and joined the church when mature enough and desirous to do so, in my case at age 12. After that I did take Communion and it has been meaningful. Luke 22:19 “And He took bread, gave thanks, and broke it, and gave it to them, saying ‘this is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

In college I joined West end Methodist Church in Nashville. I loved that church and would like to visit there now. Maybe when Yumiko has her baby we can all meet in Nashville, since Annette will want to see her great grand child, and there is a nonstop from Osaka to Nashville. Politically, Methodists are more liberal than Presbyterians - associated with social gospel, sharing with the poor, accepting alternative lifestyles. I remember having so much fun at the two Methodist churches I attended in Miami Springs and Nashville!

(p. 64) WHAT MISCHIEVOUS CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE DO YOU REMEMBER? HOW DID IT AFFECT YOU?

My memory isn’t clear, bur mom told me when I started kindergarten at age 4, I put my hand in the fishbowl to try to catch the goldfish. I was firmly corrected and felt like quite the klutz. I do remember well when I was 8, that Jane and Agnes had two dogs. Mabel was a cocker spaniel and Natalie was a basset hound. They got a third dog, Florence, a Kerry Blue Terrier. I loved Mabel and Natalie but didn’t like Florence, so I put her in a large cardboard box in the back yard and turned it over and over. When I was caught, my punishment was to do the same to one of the dogs I loved. I remember thinking that was fair. In general, I liked the discipline and the feeling of being loved when I lived with Jane and Agnes. When mom came to get me after she finished her refresher course at Duke, they wanted to keep me. She was horrified, but I remember that period (March-July 1954) as a happy one.

(p. 65) WHAT MEANINGFUL ADVICE DID YOU RECEIVE AS A CHILD?

Mom's favorite was "To thine own self be true." Also she was big on making a contribution to society ahead of finding true love. I did absorb the lesson that it's good to be financially self-sufficient before having kids.
Aunt Mary Nell, even though she was bossy when I was a kid, advised me to "Think." I started loving her when I overheard her trying to persuade Mom that my broken heart over some unrequited love was worth caring about.
In high school Ronnie Nelson was the boy I wanted most for a boyfriend. He rode my bus to high school and was in my Spanish class in 10th grade. He had a girlfriend in 11th grade, but we became good friends. In 12th grade he was the Hialeah High school valedictorian When I came back from Dallas for the last week of school, I helped him some with his speech for graduation. I kept a copy of it, and wish to goodness I could find it now. It was called Sentenced to Live. It was a charge to live positively to the best of our ability.
I have seen him a few times over the years, most recently in the summer of 2003. Dad liked him because he's a nuclear physicist. He just retired from Los Alamos and is going back to school to become an architect.

(p. 66) AS A TEENAGER DID YOU REBEL OR DO THINGS YOUR PARENTS WOULDN'T HAVE APPROVED OF? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT NOW?

I was an easy kid, afraid of taking risks, shy in social situations. The worst things I did were to change to the Methodist Church (instead of Presbyterian) in high school, and to fail to apply to early decision to Duke. If I had, I would have had an advantage being the child of an alum. Mom loved Duke and wanted me to go there. Vanderbilt was also a school for snobs, a huge waste of money, and enforced my feelings of intellectual inadequacy.
Mom wanted me to marry someone like my father, a military officer would have been ideal, or not pursue marriage at all. I, on the other hand, wanted a husband way too much. I wish I could have balanced my love and belonging needs with my academic potential. Definitely I know I have given up too easily in the face of challenge..

(p. 67) WHEN DID YOU LEARN ABOUT SEX? WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION?

I think you have the book now, the one with the Duke book cover, where I learned the biological facts. Before that, just the junior high session on periods and pregnancy. I never learned the art of flirting to get what I want from a man. When introduced to the concept by girlfriends, I thought it was way too manipulative.
We can talk about this more if you ever want to.

(p. 68) WHAT THINGS DO YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE IN CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE?

Become self-confident. Not sealed off my feelings of inadequacy by being judgmental. Learned to really enjoy lots of people, from different backgrounds.

Gone to Mexico with the Girl Scouts. (Maybe mentioned this already)

I wish I hadn’t dropped out of my second year college calculus course.

More sports and dancing. My parents generation danced, and lots of my friends dance. I’m sad whenever we are at a party where there’s dancing and we don’t dance.

(p. 69) WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU ARE MOST GLAD YOU TRIED?

Going to nursing school - working in labor and delivery and later in ICU at Columbia Hospital
Planning and succeeding in giving birth to you at home
Walk America in 1987
Rock climbing at Wilderness Adventure
The chemo/stem cell thing
Walking around the tidal basin and going to the Mall fireworks on the 4th of July in 2005
Duplicate bridge

(p. 70) DESCRIBE YOUR MOTHER IN HER BEST DRESS.

No specific memory. Mom had lots of beautiful clothes. She was ashamed of dresses made of feed sacks that she took to Duke and determined to be well dressed from then on. Akin to Scarlett O’Hara’s “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!”

In Miami Springs, there was a neighbor, an older woman named Ruby Sexton, who was a professional dressmaker. She made a lot of stylish clothes for mom and Aunt Mary Nell.

(p. 71) DESCRIBE YOUR FATHER IN HIS WORKING CLOTHES.

Blue Air Force uniform. He made full Colonel when I was five. I remember him with thinning hair and the beginnings of a belly. More friendly-looking than in his earlier pictures.

(p. 72) WHAT DID YOUR FAMILY DO ON WEEKENDS? DESCRIBE ONE PARTICULARLY EVENT.

Often on Saturday or Sunday we would spend the day at Lahiti Beach in Coral Gables. It had a ring of thatched roof huts. If you got there early enough you could use one for free. We usually did. Mom’s friend Chloe Tramnell, another nurse, often met us there.

(p. 73) SHARE ONE OF YOUR MOTHER'S BEST RECIPES OR A RECIPE FOR ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD DISHES

I am going to refer you the Good Family Cookbook, the one where Jan collected family recipes for Jennifer. Mom contributed lots of her favorites.
I loved duck with wild rice and orange sauce. Later I figured out that chicken did just as well. It was the orange sauce from The Joy of Cooking that made it delicious.

(p. 77) WHAT TOYS DID YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH? WHY THOSE PARTICULAR TOYS?

I remember a doll named Clementine and a stuffed dog with long floppy ears named Dorothy Ann. My bike was my favorite thing though. Today we have web cams!

(p. 78) HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT GOD LOVES YOU? RECALL YOUR EARLY THOUGHTS ABOUT GOD’S LOVE.

I understood this clearly by the time Daddy died when I was seven.

(p. 79) DESCRIBE A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU FEEL GOD LED YOU IN AN UNUSUAL WAY.

When you gave me this book. I'm really touched that you want to know me better. You have described yourself as "not a God person." Now you have given me this book full of God-questions. I hope my responses don't turn you off, but rather invite conversation. I want to know you too!