(p. 80) DID YOU EVER GO TO A DANCE? TELL ME ABOUT IT.

Mom enrolled me in “Cotillion” in 5th grade, so I would learn how to dance socially. The W.W.II generation danced all their lives and she wanted to give me that. Ballroom dancing gave way to rock, starting with Bill Haley and the Comets, “Rock Around the Clock” and then Elvis. In 5th grade I went to the Cotillion formal dance with Donald Mathis. Mom made me a long formal dress with a net over taffeta skirt, with sequins sewn on. It was a peach color, very pretty. I was only 10, still a normal kid with all my social potential. We had a good time. I did not go to a high school prom. In college, the predominate was the frat combo party with disgusting music like “Louis Louis”. But every fall there was an old fashioned formal with a big band, called the Harvest Ball. It was girl ask boy and I went to it, I think, three times.

(p 81) WHAT KIND OF CAR DID YOUR FAMILY DRIVE? WERE YOU PROUD OF IT OR EMBARRASSED BY IT? WHY?

The first car I remember was the one mom bought in 1954 when we moved to Florida. It was dark blue with a white top, a two door Chevrolet. The invoice for it is in the trunk in the American room. It was a car. Cars didn’t confer pride or embarrassment. I do remember noticing and learning to identify different makes as a child. A Pontiac had stripes. A Buick had three holes on each side. Chevies and Cadillacs had their characteristic symbols. In my time, a nice new car cost $3000. I can’t remember whether we had a new car by the time we moved to Dallas, but we must have. I did get a learner’s permit at age 14 in Florida with the driver’s ed car. I learned to drive for my operator’s license on Eeper’s Bonnneville in Dallas, spring of 1963. For my summer job after my first year in college, they got me a black Impala convertible. That was a fun car. You’ve heard a lot about my college graduation 1967 pale aqua Mustang, which I fantasize seeing to this very day.

(p. 82) DID YOU ATTEND FAMILY REUNIONS? SHARE A MEMORY OF ONE.

There was a big Stovall family reunion in Fairlystone park in sw Virginia. That’s Grand Bear’s mother’s family. I never went to it but they talked about it. Funerals seem to get the most people together.

Maybe we can organize one complete with T shirts.

(p. 83) DID YOU GO TO CHURCH OR COMMUNITY POTLUCKS? HOW WERE THEY IMPORTANT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY?

Yes to church. Don’t think we had pot lucks. That’s a big deal in the church we go to now, actually. I’m getting ready to shop for wild rice casserole ingredients for this sunday (12-18-05). Pot lucks are an annoyance for me today, but that’s because my body has changed.

(p. 84) TELL ME ABOUT SOMEONE WHO INFLUENCED YOUR LIFE PROFOUNDLY.

Grand Bear certainly did, although envy and defiance got in the way of my benefitting from all she had to offer. I think I ended up with many of her faults and a few of her virtues. I moan and groan and holler at home just like she did. I try to remember how helpless I felt when I was at her house in her later years, to spare your dad, but I’m still very hard for him to live with. I have her generosity. Not her ambition, nor her need and ability to be in control. She knew God loved her. She felt His care when Daddy died, and before that during her World War II experiences. She often told me she was as tough and successful as she was because he was fortunate to have been in the heat of battle. She was an “America, my country right or wrong” person. Her extensive travels confirmed her patriotism. (She did like New Zealand though.)

In 1976 when Allen and I were separating, I worked for a small software company in Rockville called Informatics, while taking prerequisites at NOVA for nursing school. There were a couple of scruffy guys who worked there, not like the rest of the yuppies. Les Brinsfield was a horse racing fanatic. He was at the track every Saturday, betting more than he could afford to lose. He and his buddy Scott Shinn had $125/ month efficiency apartments in a beautiful old building on Washington Circle (near the late Columbia Hospital for Women, before I worked there). I started hanging out with them, first with Les. He turned out to be an intensely patriotic person. One day at work he was working on a letter to the editor, that he said had been “sticking in his craw.” On July 4, 1976, it was published in the Washington Post. I was excited when I saw it and tried to call him, but found out he didn’t have a telephone. I returned to my conservative roots that day.

(p. 85) WHERE DID YOU GO TO GRADE SCHOOL? JUNIOR HIGH? HIGH SCHOOL? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BEST CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

1st grade - Miss Thompson's primary School, probably in Falls Church.. I wanted to start school early, so this is how we got around the age requirement.
2nd grade - Westlawn Elementary, Falls Church. My teacher was Mrs. Powell - I hated her. The report card from that year is in the trunk up in the American room.
3rd grade - started out in Japan on the Brady Air Force base. Finished the year at Lincolnia Elementary in Alexandria. Agnes Yeager, one of the women I was living with while Mom was back at Duke, was the principal. I loved both third grades.
4th-6th - Glenn H. Curtiss Elementary School in Miami Springs
7th-9th - Miami Springs Junior High
10th-11th Hialeah High
12th Thomas Jefferson High, a little over a mile from Grand Bear's house in Dallas
Nancydee Hertle turned out to be my best friend, in that we have kept in touch without much interruption to this day.
She was serious, a good student, very hard working. Her parents were divorced; she lived with her mom and grandmother. She had two older sisters who had already moved out.
She pointed out to me that grades came easily to me, and that she had to work for hers. She couldn't afford to go to college. After a few years working, she married George Maxey, an airline mechanic, about 11 years older than she. She developed incredible domestic and negotiating skills. They have had a close, companionable marriage, raised three kids who all have masters degrees. She has worked as a secretary-administrative person most of her life. They moved to Greensboro NC from Miami Springs when Eastern Airlines went bankrupt. George started working for a smaller airline, but he was injured, and eventually was laid off very close to retirement age. Now he has Alzheimer's. Nancydee still works very hard. I feel guilty at how easy I've had it compared to her financially, but consider her greatly my superior in how she has lived her values.
All three of my close friends, Nancydee, Polly and Marta, had working moms, which was unusual in those days. None of them has a college degree. In recent years I have looked up both Polly and Marta and visited with them. Polly still lives in Miami Springs. She has a commercial real estate appraisal business. Marta was a flight attendant for Pan AM right after high school, now is about to retire from an insurance business. She and Arnie live near Jacksonville Florida within walking distance of the ocean.

(P. 86) IF YOU WENT TO COLLEGE OR TO A CAREER TRAINING SCHOOL, WHERE DID YOU GO AND WHY?

Vanderbilt University 1963-1967
Majored in Psychology - didn’t really use it, but having a degree made it possible to get computer programmer training with IBM in 1968.

Nursing school - NVCC 1976-1978
Worked as a nurse until 2002 when amyloidosis arrived.

(p. 87) WHERE DID YOU LIVE WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO COLLEGE OR DEVELOPING A CAREER? DESCRIBE AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE FROM THAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

At Vanderbilt, in the dorms. Housemothers and curfews the first three years. My senior year, I lived in an “honor dorm” - we each had a key and could come and go freely. While I was in nursing school for March 1977 to March 1979, I lived with Scott. He moved in with me in the “tree house” at Southern Towers. That September we drove out west, as far as New Mexico. We camped a lot, and we visited Ronnie and Merrill Nelson in Los Alamos.

(p. 88) WHAT WERE YOUR YOUTHFUL GOALS AND AMBITIONS FOR LIFE? WHICH ONES HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO FULFILL?

They weren't well-defined, beyond getting married, having children, and being able to support myself. I promised to give my life to Christian service, but that hasn't translated into a career.
I decided to go to nursing school after giving birth myself, and fulfilled my goal of becoming a labor and delivery nurse.
Nursing is rewarding emotionally and financially. I would recommend it, but only if you keep in mind you won't always want to work on a hospital unit. With management and entrepreneurial skill there are many more opportunities.

(p. 89) SHARE SOME INSIGHTS FROM SCRIPTURE THAT HAVE GUIDED YOUR SPIRITUAL JOURNEY.

Read The Book (The Bible)
Read it as literature, for inspiration - you don't have to take everything literally.

Lots of my favorite passages are already in here.

(p. 93) IF YOU LEARNED TO PLAY A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT, TELL ME YOUR MEMORIES OF LESSONS, PRACTICE, AND YOUR MUSIC TEACHER; IF NOT, WHAT INSTRUMENT DID YOU WANT TO PLAY AND WHY?

When we were in Florida, I wanted to learn to play the piano. After I persuaded mom I was serious, she bought me an old upright for $50 and put it in the spare room in miss Auclair’s house. Ms. Cain was my first music teacher. She came to our house at first; later I went to hers. I was a slow student, didn’t practice enough, but kept at it off and on through college. The piano got moved to Dallas. By then it had been painted pink. It lasted there in the den about a year before mom got rid of it. I must have gotten good. The music directory at west End Methodist, Charles Merritt, was a wonderful teacher. I sang in the choir there and developed my love of classical sacred music.

(p. 94) WHAT FASHIONS WERE POPULAR WHEN YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL? DID YOU LIKE THEM? WHY OR WHY NOT?

Matching shoes (preferably Capezios), belt (even I had a waistline) and purse was big in Miami Springs. The more colors, the better. We wore skirts to school and shorts for play.
I liked all this.

When we moved to Dallas, I was disgusted that the girls wore the same black suede loafers every day, with thick white bobby sox.

In college, I learned about designer labels for the first time - Villager, John Meyer of Norwich, Weejuns. The labels were still on the inside. I didn't like the status-consciousness.

(P. 95) HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU MET DAD AND WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO HIM?

This is tough since you each have a different Dad - I don’t have idealized stories for both of you.

I met John Dixon in August 1979 when I was 33 and he was going on 45. He was much bigger than me, he liked me, he loved his children and wanted to have more, he didn't smoke (that was huge and hard to find back then)... He was intelligent and had good values. He knew someone who had had a home birth, and thought that was cool.

(p. 96) WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW YOU WANTED TO MARRY HIM? WHAT MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

We got engaged in the fall and married December 1, 1979. Too fast, I think. He would have been happier if we’d learned to communicate and negotiate first.

(p. 97) SHARE A MEMORY ABOUT THE WAY HE PROPOSED TO YOU.

He took me to a place in Georgetown along the canal. He said it was either there or the train station in Old Town Alexandria. He was sweet and old fashioned to ask Grand Bear for my hand.

(p. 98) WHAT DID YOU WEAR ON YOUR WEDDING DAY?

It was my second marriage, but my first wedding dress. Your dad knew a woman who could sew. She was involved in the theater group at the Naval Research Lab where he worked and acted. When I met him, he was rehearsing his role in Bus Stop. Anyway, her name was Kay Rauen; she and her husband lived in the Tantallon area of Fort Washington.
We went to JoAnn Fabrics, in the Livingston shopping center, to select fabrics and notions for the dresses. Back then it was called House of Fine Fabrics. It didn't have all the crafty things JoAnn's has now. We copied a long dress of mine that I liked. Also she made long red dresses for Katherine and Laurie, who were bridesmaids.
My dress is still in the guest room, in a zippered beige plastic bag. It's very simple, as wedding dresses go; it can be worn for most any long dress occasion. You can look at it, and wear it, anytime.

GrandBear's wedding dress, much more formal, is in a box under the bed in the antique guest room. In her memorabilia in the old trunk (in the American room) are her measurements for it. She had told me that she was chubby in high school and college, but by the time she was fitted for her wedding dress, she was quite slim.

(p. 99) TELL ME ABOUT YOUR WEDDING DAY FROM BEGINNING TO END.

We met in August and married on December 1. So it was not an overplanned, upscale wedding. But nicer than when I married Allen, which was an elopement in our apartment, with a Simon and Garfunkel album for music.
We did keep expenses down to about $1000. Now I wish we had done nicer flowers and pictures. The ceremony was at Fairlington Methodist Church on King Street in Alexandria. The reception was at my friend Nancy Crossley's house. She had been my neighbor when I lived in BrenMar Park Apartments; her son Ryan and Andy were on the same soccer team.
Grand Bear came up a few days before and helped us make reception food and get things together. We had a nice rehearsal and rehearsal dinner the night before, at a cool restaurant in Annandale called the Mill Mining Company. The morning of the wedding I had my hair done. That was when I decided I would have preferred real flowers to holly. Oh well. The wedding and reception were quite laid back. We had a real trumpeter play Jeremiah Clarke's Trumpet Voluntary for the ceremony. we played records for the reception. Your dad wouldn't dance. Lots of our old friends were there. Grandma Laura and Grandpa Leonard came, but not Aunt Ann and not Butch. Allen took pictures. Bruce made a video - we still have it.